South Park Meets X-Files

X-Park: South Park Collides With X-Files

X-Park

"You've Got Porn" (based on the episode, "Kill Switch")

FBI Headquarters
October 13
11:21pm

Mulder navigates the maze that is the Internet... ...researching the paranormal.

When Scully enters with a CD-ROM in hand.
SCULLY: Mulder--
MULDER: Don't you knock?
SCULLY: Are you looking for porn again?
MULDER: What do you want?
SCULLY: There was a shoot out at a local diner 45 minutes ago.
MULDER: How many Hong Kong action extras were killed?
SCULLY: None, but there was this CD-ROM--
MULDER: With porn?

TLG Headquarters
October 14
12:40am

Unable to find porn on the CD, Mulder and Scully take it to The Lone Gunmen, who don't find porn, but an e-mail from Invisigoth. Tracking down Invisigoth, Mulder and Scully discover the CD contains a program that will destroy a White Trash AI, an AI which can destroy the on-line porn industry by making sure a person can only get nude photos of family members.

Gaithersburg, Maryland
October 14
2:12am

With a personal stake in stopping the AI, Mulder, being the really stupid agent he is, decides to seek out the AI alone. Back at TLG HQ... ...Scully, Invisigoth and The Lone Gunmen decide to do their own "research."

And big surprise, Mulder ends up strapped into some odd S&M/VR contraption.

In the VR World

Mulder finds himself in a hospital bed being attended to by a very voluptuous nurse from Castle Anthrax. She reveals to Mulder the consequences of not cooperating and not revealing the location of the CD.
MULDER: Oh my God! You cut off Mr. Happy! You bastards!
NURSE: And both your arms.
MULDER: Poor Mr .Happy. He didn't hurt anyone.

Out of no where comes a VR Scully, who's there to chew bubble gum and kick ass. Too bad for the nurses she's out of bubble gum.

In the Real World

Scully and Invisigoth, rested from their tryst, track the White Trash AI's trailer and set out to save Mulder's ass. In the trailer, Scully frees Mulder while Invisigoth uses the CD to destroy the White Trash AI. Unfortunately, the program causes the AI to self-destruct...

...but not before Mulder and Scully get out. In his dazed state, Mulder can't our run Scully and her little legs so he get's hit by a flying tire.

FBI Headquarters
October 15
11:38am

Mulder decides to partake in some much deserved Internet research, having taken credit for saving the world's on-line porn industry from Scully. Or did they save it?

Go to X-Park, episode 1 (Scully Gets An Anal Probe)


Mulder navigates the maze that is the Internet...	...researching the paranormal.


Unable to find porn on the CD, Mulder and Scully take it to The Lone Gunmen, who don't find porn, but an e-mail from Invisigoth.	Tracking down Invisigoth, Mulder and Scully discover the CD contains a program that will destroy a White Trash AI, an AI which can destroy the on-line porn industry by making sure a person can only get nude photos of family members.


With a personal stake in stopping the AI, Mulder, being the really stupid agent he is, decides to seek out the AI alone. Back at TLG HQ...	...Scully, Invisigoth and The Lone Gunmen decide to do their own "research."


Mulder finds himself in a hospital bed being attended to by a very voluptuous nurse from Castle Anthrax.	She reveals to Mulder the consequences of not cooperating and not revealing the location of the CD. MULDER: Oh my God! You cut off Mr. Happy! You bastards! NURSE: And both your arms. MULDER: Poor Mr .Happy. He didn't hurt anyone.


Scully and Invisigoth, rested from their tryst, track the White Trash AI's trailer and set out to save Mulder's ass.	In the trailer, Scully frees Mulder while Invisigoth uses the CD to destroy the White Trash AI. Unfortunately, the program causes the AI to self-destruct...


Mulder decides to partake in some much deserved Internet research, having taken credit for saving the world's on-line porn industry from Scully.	Or did they save it?