CROW: Call 976-SLAY for hot, one-on-one vampire slayer phone sex. Pick up the phone! MIKE: I'm still trying to figure out who stole the tip of her nose.

TOM: Fire the gun! CROW: That is one crotch shot I want to see!

TOM: That's it! Numero uno symbol of the end of the world! CROW: INAPPROPRIATE!

MIKE: She must have Smints for earings.

CROW: Brendan Fraser IS Dustin Hoffman as George of the Jungle in Outbreak II: Touch My Monkey If You Can Find Him!

Exclusive shots from Episode 1 revealing the true villain - Darth Observer!

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